Happy Birthday Daddy.

 

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It still hurts....................................

 

Always in my heart.

 

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New Life rules.......

 Everybody has bad days.....

Everybody has problems, issues, something that's not right.....

Today I realized that that I'm not happy for a while.... a long while.

I have a family that I adore!

They're the ones that give me strenght to do everyday life...

But I don't feel happy.

I don't smile a lot or laugh.....

I feel like a zombie. 

It's easier to numb feelings and words.

Although there're a lot of issues going on in my life right now, I feel like this, since the passing of my father.

Never ever imagined this would hurt so much. It's like a death inside of you.

But I cannot continue like this...

I have to quit this numbness... I have to enjoy more life.

So, these are my new rules:

1. Smile everyday

2. Don't be so harsh on myself... I also deserve happiness

3. Find time to myself - exercising, biking, blogging, cooking, shopping, mini home spa.... whatever I feel like.

4. Take photos of the boys and family everyday

5. Trust my hunches - if I don't want to do something, don't. And stop feeling guilty. Take care better of myself.

6. Breathe in and out..... and stop stressing about the small stuff

7. Eat better

Be more HAPPY....

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One Year.......

Missing you so much.

The pain eases but it's still here....

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Happy Birthday..............

Wherever you are......

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Missing you..... a lot.

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Missing you.

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Life goes on.

Although I feel lost.

I have to carry on.

And be happy. The most happy I can.

Even though my heart has a little hole in it....

Today.

My beloved Daddy died. I'm still in shock. Mummy called and I had a feeling that something bad had happened.
Daddy, I love you so, so much and words cannot describe my sadness....
I'm so sad that I could not say goodbye.
I do hope you're in a good place (whatsoever it is).
Daddy, rest in peace. I love you and always will.